Developing Emotional Mastery
Many people ask about the role of inner child healing in mastering emotions. How does our inner child connect to our emotional experience?
The Connection Between the Inner Child and Emotional Mastery
Our ability to feel, experience, and witness emotions is a skill ideally developed within the first seven years of life. Emotions are energetic waveforms that provide insight into both our internal and external worlds. They help us make sense of ourselves and our interactions, guiding us in understanding what feels right and what does not. Emotions act as an internal communication system, allowing us to express ourselves, connect with others, and get our needs met. However, emotional mastery is not just about expressing emotions—it is about fully embodying them.
What Does It Mean to “Embody” Emotions?
Renowned researcher Paul Ekman has extensively studied the physiology of emotions, demonstrating that emotional expressions are universal. Across all cultures, emotions present with distinct, recognizable physical cues. For instance, sadness manifests as a downward turn of the mouth and a drooping facial expression, while anger is embodied through tension in the jaw and neck. In essence, we wear our emotions on our faces.
Over the last two decades, deeper research has shown that emotions are not only visible in facial expressions but are also stored in our physiology. Somatic approaches reveal that our capacity to witness, experience, and integrate emotions is shaped by multiple factors, including neurobiology, early childhood experiences, and social norms.
Emotional Mastery as a Psycho-Sensory Practice
Emotional mastery involves cultivating awareness of the body’s cues and responses—subtle sensations that indicate our emotional state.
These cues include:
At its core, emotional mastery involves recognizing whether our body perceives safety or threat in a given moment.
How Does My Body Signal Safety or Threat?
A simple yet profound practice for beginners as they learn about emotions involves tracking how our body reacts in states of safety versus threat:
Safety Feels Like:
Threat Feels Like:
When we feel safe, we can sit still, listen attentively, and remain open to perspectives outside our own. We can be curious about our emotions and allow space for others to have their emotions. We take time before responding and remain connected to our body and presence.
In threat, we feel an urgency to resolve conflicts immediately, impose our viewpoints, act out to release our tension, and close off from deeper conversations that require us to hold other people’s point of view.
The Role of Early Emotional Mirroring
Ideally, the skill of mastering emotions is developed through accurate emotional mirroring in early childhood. As young children, we rely on our caregivers to help us interpret and make sense of our feelings. Through this process, we learn to identify, express, and regulate our emotions.
However, social conditioning can interfere with this development. Many of us grew up hearing phrases like “suck it up”or “get over it”, which taught us to suppress emotions rather than process them. Over time, this can lead to emotional numbness, where we disconnect from our internal world and interact on a surface level rather than engaging in meaningful, authentic connection.
Reconnecting with Our Emotional World
Healing and reconnecting with our emotional selves requires practice and intention. It takes conscious effort to rebuild the ability to tune into our inner world and engage with others on a deeper, more intimate level. The journey of emotional mastery is not about eliminating difficult emotions but rather learning how to witness, experience, and integrate them in a way that fosters personal resilience and shared relational connection.
To learn more about mastering our emotions visit my website for information on my upcoming services and group offerings.
To learn more about mastering our emotions visit my website for information on my upcoming services and group offerings.
